Learning Experiences #3: Learning From Others

Reflecting on my second semester at TCU, it’s hard to pick one specific incident or experience to write about for this last blog because I have learned so many important things and had so many invaluable experiences. One thing I have noticed, however, is something a lot of these experiences have in common, and that is the fact that my learning often comes from other students. When I think of learning in college, I think of sitting in a classroom listening to a lecture or having a discussion. However, when I reflect on the things that have stuck with me the most, they often come from my experiences and interactions with those around me. In class I’ve learned from others by watching those who are successful and trying to emulate their actions, I’ve learned new ways to study, I’ve learned ways not to study, and I’ve been taught concepts that the teacher wasn’t able to make clear to me. In Literature and Civilizations II a lot of what I learned came from group presentations by other students or the thoughts and opinions of others during class discussions. I’ve learned from others outside of the classroom as well. From my friends I’ve learned the importance of compassion and dedication, from the upperclassmen I’ve learned what is possible here at TCU and what we can accomplish, and from my peers I’ve learned that, if you ask, somebody is always willing to help. While isn’t one specific experience, I think this realization is important to all experiences. There is so much more to be learned from those around you and from their own experiences than we can possibly do on our own.

Laughter Blog #2: (Almost) Death by Ostrich

Last Thursday, my friends and I went to Fossil Rim and then to Lake Whitney to camp so that we could spend one last night together before we all leave for the summer. If you haven’t heard of Fossil Rim, it’s like a zoo, but you drive through it and the animals run wild in this gigantic park. The animals come up to the window of the car and sometimes stick their heads in, and the park gives you food so that you can feed them, too! Since we had a large group, we drove a truck so that some of us could sit in the bed and be right up next to the animals. On Thursday afternoon, we left TCU at 4:30, exactly one hour before they close the gates for the last car to go through. Did I mention Fossil Rim is over an hour away? Well, with a little bit of luck and a little bit of illegal driving, we made it, exactly one minute before they closed. We checked in and got our bag of food which was handed to us with the warning do NOT hand feed any animals other than the giraffes. That being said, we all climbed into the truck bed and headed on our way. Well if you haven’t guessed it already, the first thing we did, of course, was to hand feed the animals. We fed emus, ostriches, deer, zebras etc. We fed everything except, of course, the giraffes. Two hours later we could see the exit. The only animals left were a few ostriches walking along the path. Excited to feed our last animal, we held our hands out with anticipation as it came closer. This ostrich, however, suddenly seemed unfriendly. As it approached the truck we all moved into the other corner as it stared us down with a tilted head. We screamed at the driver (you know who you are) to drive off, but deciding to watch us suffer a little longer he refused. Finally, he concluded we’d had enough of the pecking, glaring ostrich that he drove out of the park. My friends and I died laughing in the back as we rode away. It took us a few minutes before any of us could even catch our breath. Looking back, I think the laughter stemmed from a few things. The first of these being that we’d survived death by ostrich. The second stemming from the incongruity theory. After two hours of sweet little animals eating out of our hands, nobody expected an angry ostrich. The incongruity, however, goes further in that we were told in the first place not to attempt feeding the animals at all therefore the result should not have been incongruous. Is it possible to say we laughed because of the incongruity of the incongruity? If so, I think that’s what made the situation so incredibly hilarious.

Laughter at the Zoo

On Friday I visited the zoo with some friends of mine for my birthday. Before arriving, I assumed that I’d be able to find my photos of people laughing within twenty minutes and then be able to just walk around the zoo. This proved to be extremely false. For some reason, people don’t find animals funny! I watched as people would look at the animal, make some comment about its strange face or skin, and then move on to the next one. The only time I caught people actually laughing at the animals was when the animals were procreating. Sadly, I did not have my camera ready for this event, nor did I want to write an entire blog post on why animals reproducing is amusing. Instead, I decided to focus on people to people interactions rather than people to animal.

I finally noticed somebody laughing while I was getting Dip n Dots to satisfy my inner child. Three little boys were behind me waiting in line and deciding what flavor they wanted to order. I turned around to take a photo and they started talking to me. The little boys asked me what flavor I got and laughed because it was not the best flavor apparently. They then laughed at each other a bit more for no real reason from what I could tell. While I can’t find any theory that proves why the children were laughing, other than maybe the superiority theory because they clearly knew what the best flavor was, I saw that their laughter was contagious. Not only were they causing each other to laugh, but my friends and I started laughing with them as well. The humor spread throughout all of us, and nobody really knew why the boy even laughed to begin with.

The second instance of laughter that I found while walking around the zoo was of another child. In the Texas section of the zoo (only Texas would have a part of the zoo dedicated to itself..) I saw a child running around laughing as his mother made the water tower shoot water onto him and get him all wet. This made me laugh, clearly stemming from both the superiority theory and incongruity theory as I was glad I was not wet and was confused as to why there was practically a swimming pool in the middle of a zoo. Why the child was laughing I found, once again, not fitting to any of our theories. I think the laughter of a child is somewhat of its own genre. The little boy didn’t need anything to make him laugh other than to be sprayed in water which I’m sure would have severely irritated any adult. The pure innocence of a child and one’s ability to laugh simply for the sake of laughing I think is so beautiful.

Conversation Partner #6: All That Jazz

This past Wednesday, Maram and I met for coffee for the last time. As usual, we met at Union Grounds. After talking for a little while, however, Maram asked if I knew what the music outside was coming from. On my way in I had noticed the TCU Jazz Band playing. I told Maram that it was jazz music and she asked if I wanted to go outside. (A little bit of background for you: I am a musician and played the flute and saxophone throughout high school. I was in a jazz band for three years and have deeply missed being a part of music these past few months. So, needless to say, when Maram suggested watching the band, I was ecstatic.) I told her I did and we went outside to sit in the sun and listen to the band.

As we sat down I pointed at the saxophones in the front row and told Maram that I used to play one in high school. Once she knew that I had played in a band like that, she asked me a bunch of questions pertaining to the instruments and the music. She had never seen any of the instruments on the stage and repeated after me as I told her what each one was. I was curious if she’d ever even heard jazz music before and she informed me that she never had. I then asked her what kind of music she listened to back home and she pulled up a few artists for me and even showed me pictures of some instruments from her country.

I’ve always thought of music as a universal language. No matter what word you use for the guitar or saxophone, it makes the same sound and can play the same song. You don’t have to relearn music like you do languages, even the notation remains constant throughout the world. It was fun getting to share this universal concept with Maram. Even though she hadn’t heard jazz music before, we were both able to listen and understand it in the same way.

As we were watching, I asked Maram if she played any instruments. She told me she didn’t and that she had never taken a music class. I came to find out that schools don’t even offer music where she is from. In fact, she doesn’t have much exposure to it at home at all. I’m not sure why this surprised me so much, but I was shocked. Music was a significant part of my high school experience and I can’t image never even having been exposed to it. It made me think about our current school system and how many cuts the arts programs are receiving due to the new STEM initiative. I hope that our country never reaches the point where children are hardly exposed to music or any of the other forms of art that add so much beauty to life.

Negative Humor

This afternoon, a friend of mine showed me a vine that has recently gone viral. The vine consisted of the beginning of the musical, Hairspray, and its opening number, “Good Morning Baltimore.” The video then instantly switched to videos and images of the rioting that is currently going on in Baltimore, Maryland after the recent shooting. My first instinct was to laugh. After thinking for a few seconds, however, I quickly stopped and realized how truly horrid this vine was. While I’m sure so many people all over the country have watched this video a countless number of times, the idea is truly disturbing. This vine struck me as a great example of negative humor. The events in Baltimore are obviously serious problems dealing with important issues facing our country. It’s not, however, that nobody understands this. After my friend showed me this vine, he followed it by telling me how horrible it was. I find it interesting how we can understand how horrible negative humor can be, yet still laugh in the meantime. It’s obvious why the vine is funny. It is a prime example of the incongruity theory. Who would expect such a terrible thing to follow such a cheerful, timeless musical? What isn’t obvious, is why even after realizing the true meaning, the video still remains funny to people and they continue to share it. I have two guesses for why this might be. My best guess is that subconsciously we use humor to cope with events like this. We watch something so horrible and depressing, and the only way to deal with it is to laugh. Every day we are bombarded with horrors on the news. Whether it be recent deaths, or wars, or tragic events, etc., there is no escaping all of the tragedies in the world. One way to not be overcome by all of this is to compensate with laughter. Laughter allows us to glaze over things and not fully consider their impact. Although it’s important to understand the horror of some of these events, it is also important not to let them consume us, and laughter helps. My other theory is that some people are the complete opposite and are completely unintentional in what they do. They react to things without ever thinking about the true meaning or consequences. I’m sure so many people watched that vine and new it was horrible but laughed anyways and never once stopped to think about exactly why it was so horrible. Maybe neither of these is the true reason we laugh at negative events such as these, or maybe it’s a little bit of both. Hopefully those who do laugh at the vine at least understand the true meaning behind it.

Conversation Partner #5: IEP Social

Last Friday I met Maram at the IEP hosted conversation partner social. This was my first time Maram and I spent time together with other people as well. It was fun getting to meet other people in her classes. After talking to a few other students in the program, I realized just how good Maram’s English is compared to some of the other students. After meeting a few people, she and I got the opportunity to play Jenga together. A lot of our conversations throughout this semester have felt somewhat formal or significantly question-answer based. I enjoyed getting to spend time with Maram just as I would any other students. We didn’t ask each other anything about our cultures or what class was like or what we liked to do, we just got to spend time together. Reflecting on this hour, I think I learned more about Maram and her personality than I have before. While we laugh all the time when we meet, it’s usually caused by something we find funny or different about the other’s culture or occasionally the awkward silence laugh. Friday, however, the laughter was simple and genuine. We laughed at the game and how bad we both were at it. We talked about how done we were with school and how we just wanted to be on vacation. While I’ve always thought of Maram as a friend, Friday was the first time I felt we truly connected as friends!

Learning Experience #2: The Importance of Sleep

This semester I have learned the importance of taking care of yourself. In life, especially college, it is so easy to get swept up in the craziness. Whether it be homework, studying for a test, hanging out with friends, going to the gym, doing laundry, calling home, sorority events, meetings, or other extracurricular activities, there’s always something calling your name. Quite often, there are multiple things requiring your attention. It’s hard. I’ve never been good at saying no. In fact, I’ve never been good at not saying yes. You need somebody to run that errand for you? Sure I can do it. We need one person in the group to oversee some event? Yeah I got it. Even when it’s not asked of me, I’ll do it. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It keeps me busy and involved and I know I help others in the process. However, maybe Mom was right. Maybe sleep is important. My motto for this whole year has been that I can sleep when I’m dead. I mean, life is so short, why waste is sleeping? Now don’t get me wrong, a nap here and there, or daily, is totally worth it. But why go to bed at eleven when everybody else is up until two? Well, after about five visits to the health center, multiple prescriptions, and who knows how many naps a day because I never felt caught up on sleep, I finally learned my lesson. Sleeping. Is. Important. Well, maybe I’ve learned my lesson. I’m currently writing this blog at two in the morning, but I have no reason to get up early in the morning so I don’t think it counts. What matters is that I finally understand how important taking care of myself is. Because if I don’t, I won’t be saying no to one or two things but a bunch because I’ll be too sick to do anything. Although I technically didn’t learn this in the classroom, I think it might be one of the most important things I’ve learned all year.

Conversation Partner Four: A Simple Gift

I’ve always known I had a great conversation partner. She’s sweet, easy to talk to, responds immediately, and we have a lot in common. Today, however, Maram officially became the best conversation partner ever when she gave me one of the most thoughtful gifts. Recently, Maram spent a day volunteering in a kindergarten classroom where she helped the kids to write their names in different languages. When we met for coffee earlier today, Maram brought the class example to me. Attached to a box of chocolates, she had written Mary in four different languages: English, Chinese, French, and her own, Arabic.

Although it was only a simple piece of yellow paper with some writing in marker and a couple of stickers, I couldn’t have been more excited. I felt connected to her culture. I’m sure that’s weird to say considering it’s just another way to write my name, but it’s something I’d never really done before. I took Spanish for five years, but never actually bothered to, for a lack of a better way to put it, feel Spanish. The best way to learn about another culture is to put yourself in the shoes of somebody who lives in it. When I saw my name written in Arabic, it reminded me how important it is to picture myself in the culture that Maram tells me about each week. We always talk in English, since that’s the only language I can speak of course and that’s what she’s here to learn. However, it connects her to my culture, not me to hers. I always think of things in terms of what is different that she does compared to how I do it, rather than the other way around. In the smallest way possible, Maram let me into her culture. Since I can’t actually just hop on a plane and visit Saudi Arabia, the little piece of paper was my replacement, my bridge.

Conversation Partner Three: Spring Break

Right before Spring Break, Maram and I met for coffee again. Each time we meet our conversations seem easier and more natural. We talked about our week and what assignments we had or tests we were studying for. I enjoy hearing about her classes and school work because the Intensive English Program is much different than I imagined it to be. Maram also really enjoys the program so I love getting to watch her talk about it and explain it to me. After that Maram asked me what I was doing for Spring Break. I told her about my plans to go to Colorado, home to Kansas, and then Arkansas. She hadn’t been to any of those States so I told her all about the Mountains in Colorado, my home in Kansas, and my friend’s farm in Arkansas. I then asked her if she had any plans for Spring Break. Maram told me about her plans to go to Chicago with her brother. Having lived in Chicago and been back many times since, I was eager to hear what she was going to do there. She pulled up on her phone a map of the city and pointed out her hotel. I knew the exact spot where she was staying and told her all about things to do in the city. It was fun to talk to Maram about everything I loved and see how many things she seemed excited to experience too. I pointed out the Shedd Aquarium, Millenium Park, the Hancock building, and the Field Museum, all of which she was eager to go to. In our previous meetings, Maram and I spent a lot of time talking about what she loved to do back in Saudi Arabia, so it was fun to reverse the roles and get to tell her a bit about what I love to do and introduce her to part of my culture. I can’t wait to meet with Maram this week and hear all about her time in the city and see if she loved it as much as I do!

 

Conversation Partner Two: The Importance of Education and Friends

This past Wednesday I met Maram again for coffee at Union Grounds. I wanted to know more about what it’s like being in the Intensive English Program, so I asked her lots of questions about her classes. She told me about how she takes grammar, reading, writing, and workshops. Her favorite class is grammar, although it has become much more difficult this year and the tests are hard. I related her difficulty in learning English to my five years of learning Spanish in high school. Understanding Spanish grammar was difficult, and I know the English language is even more complicated. I can’t imagine trying to learn English, much the less being transported into an English-speaking environment so quickly. I am so impressed by her ability to understand and her willingness and want to learn more.

After we talked about grammar, I asked her if she was reading any books for her reading class. She pulled a book out of her backpack to show me. It was an autobiography about Malala. I had heard Malala’s name before but didn’t fully know her story. Maram told me about everything Malala had done and how incredible this young girl was. If you don’t know anything about Malala, she is a seventeen year old girl who has fought for women’s education in her home country of Pakistan against the Taliban. We talked about how inspiration Malala’s story was and how important education is.

On the subject of education, I asked Maram what her favorite part about teaching was. She spent a year teaching a kindergarten class in Saudi Arabia before coming to the United States. Her favorite part about teaching was watching a child’s face light up when they began to understand something or learned something new. I love hearing Maram talk about teaching because although she can’t express it with many words, you can see her passion for it in her eyes.

Throughout our conversation we also talked about what we did on our snow days. She talked about watching TV and cooking, so I asked her what her favorite show was to watch in English. Her response almost made me scream. Maram’s favorite English TV show, Friends, is also my all-time favorite TV show. It was so fun to bond with her over one of my favorite things. Before our first conversation, I was worried we would have nothing in common. It has been so much fun to discover how wrong I was and find things that we both share whether it be a love of food or a similar taste in TV shows.